No carbs

For as long as I can remember, I've been an emotional eater. I have any emotion (good, bad, ugly) and I eat. For the most part, I try to eat pretty decently, but when I'm on an emotional downswing, I turn to carbs to try and pacify those emotions... the bread basket, pizza etc. While these things are temporarily satisfying, they ofen leave me feeling worse emotionally than I did before I ate them, so then I go back for more. I can eat an entire breadbasket at a restaurant before my meal arrives and then still eat my meal and most likely dessert too.

So for Lent this year, I decided to give up carbs, specifically- bread, pasta, pizza, potatoes and rice. This is my first foray into giving something up for Lent. Being a Lutheran, giving something up for Lent isn't mandatory, but it seemed like a good thing to do. I was super excited about the weight loss possibilities, as well as breaking my emotional dependence on food.

I'm 19 days in and I have to say that this is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do!!!! I have been pretty fanatical, but I have to admit there have been a few slip-ups. Old habits die hard!!! This week has been especially difficult as it is spring break and I am home all day. Being at school has actually been good for me, because I'm often too busy to think about eating except at lunch time.
 I haven't really noticed anything in the weight loss area, but as a good friend informed me, I needed to cut out fruit for the first two weeks also since it is high in natural sugars, so that my body gets used to burning the fat it has been storing... maybe that will be my next step.

Amazing Grace

This morning during church, we sang Amazing Grace. This is one of my favorite songs, so of course I sang with gusto and joy (despite my complete lack of ability to sing on key). I know most of the verses by heart, but today I was completely struck by the opening line of verse 4- "The Lord has promised good to me." With that simple line, I felt His peaceful presence come over me. On Thursday and Friday, I was feeling completely flawed. I know God has made me to be a unique individual, but I was feeling like me wasn't good enough, that the world in general didn't value me. With that simple and yet profound opener to verse 4, I was reminded that God does indeed love me very much, He does care for me and that He has made me unique for a reason, even I don't know that reason yet.

For those of you who aren't familiar with Amazing Grace, at least beyond the first verse, here are the words of the hymn in its entirety. Maybe it will provide you with some peace too...

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.