Dropping the Ball

This phrase has always had a negative connotation to me. It says that I haven't lived up to my responsibilities, that I've let someone down, or done something I shouldn't have. Generally it is something that I try to avoid.

Three weeks ago at Bible Study, Beth Moore put the phrase into a new context, one that I am trying to embrace for the rest of my life, starting with the next nine weeks of Bible Study. 

She told the story of her dog, a border collie, who is obsessed with her ball. She loves her ball so much that she drops the ball in her food dish and eats around it, she puts it in her water dish and drinks around it because she cannot bear to be parted from it. One day, she was chasing a bird or a squirrel or some other woodland creature and she cannot catch it because she won't put put down the ball, not to mention that holding on to it makes breathing a slow and awkward process.
   Beth then challenged us to "drop the ball", to lay down our obsessions and all the things that we are holding on to which prevent us from reaching our goal- being in a close relationship with Jesus. She then went on to say that Jesus already broke our chains when he died on the cross- the chains are not holding us, but rather for whatever reason, we are holding onto our chains instead of clinging to the cross. I have been sharing this story with practically everyone because it has resonated so deeply with me.
For me, dropping the ball means letting go of my obsession with getting married and being in a relationship. It means being genuinely happy for friends and family members who are engaged or married or are otherwise in happy and fulfilling relationships, even when I am not. It entails a daily choice of focusing on the blessings God has given me, instead of the ones he hasn't. It means trusting that God will work for His good in my life and believing that He will grant the desires of my heart if I seek Him first. Dropping my ball means not watching romantic comedies or listening to love songs obsessively, since they only serve as constant reminders of what I don't have and they make me sad. It means reading my Bible more and praying more- being in constant communication with God, regardless of my circumstance. It means letting go of my plans and my hopes and dreams.

Dropping the ball is a constant and daily struggle. I find little thoughts creeping in and I have to literally talk out loud to myself and scold myself in order to stop the jealous thoughts. I have to turn off the radio, or skip songs on my ipod. It is a conscious choice, something I must be acutely aware of at all times. Thus far, I have been far from perfect. I find myself dropping the ball for a short time, only to pick it back up again a while later. It is asking God for forgiveness and starting over again. One benefit is that it has drawn me closer to God- I am spending more time communicating with him (mostly asking for his constant help). I know I am growing and that good will come out of it, but it is soooooo hard!

 Your turn- What ball do you need to drop?